ZephyrosOmega

(Credit to for the bio)

First Appearance: Team Fortress 2 (2007)
Classes: 9 in total
Occupations: Assassins, Mercenaries, Hitmen
Affiliation: Reliable Excavation and Demolition
Theme: 


FEATS…
Have taken on a dark sorcerer, armies of robots, mutated loaves of bread, and a horseless headless horseman
Are regularly pitted in open warfare against the BLU Team
Because of extreme specialization, prove to be great with teamwork
-Becomes a little hard, some members considered

Zephyr: Red and Blue. People sure love making these colors fight to the death, don't they?

Elr0nd: Yeah, well, that's what happens when two brothers go to war.

Evan: Our story begins upon the war of two brothers, Redmond and Blutarch Mann.

Alana: Sooooo asking for it!

Evan: Indeed. They were fighting over which son would inherit the property (and company) of their father Zepheniah.

Zephyr: Huh. Sounds like me. What if... I'M REDMANN!?

Evan: No. No you are not.

Zephyr: Aw....

Evan: Anyway... to make a long and complex story short, Both brothers hired mercenaries to wage an unending and unwinnable war against eachother.

Elr0nd: And that's where it all starts! Wait, why does each class look the same anyway? Are all the mercenaries just sets of twins?

Evan: More than likely.

Zephyr: Let us know in the comments below! he said, breaking the fourth wall.

Evan: This is an internet show. The fourth wall is nothing to us. Anyway...

(NOTE: Due to the length of the bio, I won't be adding any commentary. This lets me get to work on the actual fight quicker.)

THE SCOUT
Real Name: Unknown
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 122lbs
HP: 125 (below average)
Speed: 133/100 (above average)
Type: Offensive Class

FEATS
Fastest member of the team
Defeated a BLU Heavy on his own
Helped Miss Pauling destroy the giant bread monster
-Wooed Miss Pauling(?)

ABILITIES
Double-Jump
-Useful in crossing larger gaps
-Also handy for evading attacks
Speed
-33% faster than average, when baseline
Double Standard
-When capturing a base/pushing a cart, counts as 2 people

WEAPONS


Force-a-Nature
-Shotgun design
-Lever-action
-Rounds: 2 rounds per reload
-2-shot minimum to kill most classes
-Lethal at close-range
-Weak at mid-range
-Useless at long-range
-Force can propel Scout through the air


Pistol
-Semi-automatic handgun
-Rounds: 12
-Close- to mid-range effectiveness

Bonk! Atomic Punch
-Soda the Scout can drink
-Renders him invulnerable for 8 seconds
-Still affected by knockback or stunning attacks
-Cannot use weapon while invulnerable


Sandman
-Call to Scout’s love of baseball
-Fastest swing of any melee weapon in TF2
-Does lowest damage, though
-Launches baseball that can stun enemy for as long as eight seconds
-Taunt can send enemy flying in a homerun
-Lowers Scout's HP to 110

PROS & CONS
+Faster than all his teammates
+Excels at hit-and-run tactics
+At close-range, many of his weapons are lethal
-Extremely smug and loudmouthed
-Lowest HP of the team
-Lacks long-range weaponry

(Scout: Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brudda? I hurt people!)




THE SOLDIER
Real Name: Jane Doe (Possibly pronounced John Doe)
Height: 6'
Weight: 198lbs
Health: 200 (above average)
Speed: 80/100 (below average)
Type: Offensive Class

FEATS
Went to Europe to fight Nazis
-...in 1949, long after the war ended
Snapped the neck of an Ussuri Brown Bear with bare hands
-Can grow to be ten feet tall and weigh 1500lbs

ABILITIES
Rocket Jump
-At the cost of some HP, can boost his jump to get to higher grounds
Above-Average Stamina
-Allows him to tank more attacks than some of his teammates
Taunt Attack
-Rushes his enemy and pulls the pins from the grenades on his chest
-Suicide move

WEAPONS/GEAR

Rocket Launcher
-Rounds: 4
-Good at mid- to long-range combat
-Allows for rocket jumping
-Does explosive splash damage



Shotgun
-Rounds: 6
-Pump-action
-Good at close-range
-Loses effectiveness at longer range


Shovel
-Actually a foldable entrenching tool
-Decent melee weapon damage
-Not really good for digging holes (as claimed by Soldier)

Equalizer
-A pickaxe
-Very good melee weapon damage
-Specializes in Armor Piercing

 

PROS & CONS
+Can tank more hits than many of his teammates
+Packs some mean firepower
+Rocket Jump can come in handy
-Not very bright
-Not the fastest member of his team
-Lacks variety

(The Soldier: And from that day forward, anytime a bunch of animals are together in one place, it’s called a ZOO! Unless it’s a farm!)




THE PYRO
Real Name: Unknown
Height: 5'9"
Weight: Unknown
Health: 175 (average)
Speed: 100% (average)
Type: Offensive Class

FEATS
Annihilated an entire BLU Fort single-handedly
Took over a corporation without revealing its identity
Can perform a Hadoken with a special taunt
-No, I'm not joking.

ABILITIES
Hadoken
-A blast of RED fire shot from the pyro's hands
Insanity
-Pyro sees everything in "pyrovision"
-Pyro does not realize that they're hurting anyone



WEAPONS/EQUIPMENT


Flamethrower
-Sets enemies on fire, slowly draining health
-Can fire a pressurized air blast to deflect projectiles, put out fires, or knock enemies back
-Mid-Range weapon
-Pyro views it as a Rainblower, which shoots rainbows and creates flowers

Flare Gun
-Pistol-shaped weapon
-Fires arcing, short-range projectiles
-Ignites enemies on impact

Fireman’s Axe
-Pyro’s primary melee weapon
-Does decent melee damage
-Pyro once killed a bear with one of these babies
Suit
-Lined with asbestos
-Protects from afterburn of enemy flames
-Does not protect from direct blast



PROS & CONS
+Good for hit-and-run tactics
+Can weaken enemies so other allies can take them out easier
+Resistant to fire
-Weapons lack range
-Lack of touch with reality
-Designed to burn enemies down, not kill them outright

(Pyro walks, rhythmically through Pyroland...before a hole is shown to be blown in a BLU Soldier, revealing the burnt-down base and mutilated corpses)

THE DEMOMAN
Real Name: Tavish Finnegan Degroot
Height: 6'
Weight: 200lbs
Health: 175 (average)
Speed: 93/100 (slightly below average)
Class: Defense

FEATS
Attempted to blow up the Loch Ness Monster
Lost eye and gained explosives knowledge by reading the Bombinomicon
-A book owned by Merasmus, the Dark Wizard (and Soldier's roommate)



WEAPONS & GEAR


Grenade Launcher
-Rounds: 6
-Fires grenades that bounce and can get past obstacles
-Grenades explode on contact, but wait a few seconds if they miss


Stickybomb Launcher
-Rounds: 8
-Fires adhesive explosives
-Bombs are remotely activated
-8 can be on the field at a time

Bottle
-Melee weapon of choice
-Demoman has one of the strongest melee attacks


Eyelander
-Enchanted Claymore sword
-Possesses a dead spirit
-Good for beheading and heals/speeds up Demoman with each head taken
-Decreases Demoman's health and speed

PROS & CONS
+Knowledge of environment and explosives means well-versed in traps
+Weapons are VERY deadly
+Very proficient melee combatant
-Weapon reload is quite long
-Short-tempered
-Consumption of alcohol could prove costly in long run

(Demoman: Oh, they’re going to have to glue you back together...IN HELL!)

THE HEAVY
Real Name: Misha (Short for Mikhail)
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 250lbs
Health: 300 (above average)
Speed: 77 (below average)
Class: Defensive

FEATS
Can kill a man by finger-gunning them and shouting "pow"
-Causes them to explode into chunks (small focus point, though)
Killed a mother bear while his teammates killed cubs
-Cubs were grizzly-sized
Effortlessly lugs around a portable minigun



WEAPONS & GEAR

"Sasha"
-Rounds: 200
-Spraying machine gun
-Can do heavy damage
-Firing or spinning slows Heavy down


Sandvich
-Food item that the Heavy can drop for allies to use
-Restores health to whoever picks it up
-Just as likely for enemies to pick up (must be placed carefully)

Fists
-Heavy is only person who uses fists instead of a weapon
-Likely very strong considering Heavy’s size and build

+Extremely deadly primary weapon
+Most stamina of the classes
+Sandviches can boost allies’ health
-Slowest of the classes
-Requires a Medic or Engineer to back him up most of the time
-Not that bright (nowhere near Soldier’s level, though)

(Heavy: Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe...maybe. *leans in* I have yet to meet one that can outsmart BULLET.)

THE ENGINEER
Real Name: Dell Conagher
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 170lbs
Health: 125 (below average)
Speed: 100% (average)
Class: Defensive

FEATS
Held and protected an entire BLU supply van with nothing but Sentry Guns
Not-too-shabby guitar player
Helped solve the bread-tumor problem with Medic
-Soldier did NOT help



WEAPONS & GEAR


Shotgun
-See “the Soldier”



Handgun
-See “The Scout”

Wrench
-Has two different ones
-One is a bludgeoning weapon
-The other upgrades/repairs his constructs
Self-Destruct Device
-Destroys all constructs
-Prevents enemies from taking advantage of them
-Explosions can damage enemies

Gunslinger
-Prosthetic hand
-Likely hidden under Engie's gloved right hand
-Gives him powerful punch attacks
-Allows for organ-grinder taunt attack

CONSTRUCTS
Requires metal from the Engineer to build and upgrade
-Metal typically found in ammo boxes

Sentry Gun
-First version looks like a Virtual Boy for some reason
-All three models can be moved (or "hauled" in Engineer's words)
-Fires on enemies that it detects
-Can upgrade two additional times
-Updates include miniguns and rocket launchers

Dispenser
-Dispenses ammo, metal, and health packs
-Puts out allies on fire
-Can be upgraded two additional times

Teleporter
-Two types: entrance and exit
-Used to infiltrate enemy bases
-Advised to not teleport bread

PROS & CONS
+Good for holding up defenses via Sentry Guns
+Replenishes ammo for allies
+Can get friends behind enemy lines
-Not too imposing on his own (low health and little weapon variety)
-Devices can be destroyed or hacked
-Made for support, not open war



(The Engineer: Like this heavy-caliber, tripod-mounted ol' number designed by me, built by me, and you'd best hope...Not pointed at you.)

THE MEDIC
Real Name: Unknown
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 150lbs
Health: 150 (average)
Speed: 107% (above average)
Class: Support

FEATS
Became a doctor after having lost his license
Outfitted the team with heart upgrades
-How he uses the Ubercharge
Knowledgeable enough to keep patients alive while operating on them

WEAPONS & GEAR


Syringe Gun
-Rounds: 40
-Rapid-fire machine gun
-Shoots syringes instead of bullets
-Bullets don’t travel straight, but arc down instead

Medi Gun
-Uses an energy beam to heal teammates
-Can put them above their average health ratio
-Recently shown to create bulletproof force fields
-Utilizes ubercharge (see below)

Ubercharge
-Special function of Medi Gun
-Charged up by healing teammates
-Grants one teammate and the Medic invincibility for 8 seconds


Ubersaw
-A cross between a bonesaw, a cleaver, and a syringe
-On each successful hit, fills the Ubercharge meter

PROS & CONS
+Invaluable at healing teammates
+When teamed with specific soldiers, makes them stronger
+Ubercharge is force to be reckoned with
-Ubercharge takes considerable time to charge
-Mentioned ability only lasts about eight seconds and only on one teammate
-Can’t hold his own in a fight (due to lack of truly-effective weapons)

(The Heavy: Doctor! You sure this will work?
The Medic: I HAVE NO IDEA!!!)

THE SNIPER
Real Name: Mundy
Height: 6'
Weight: 150lbs
Health: 125 (below average)
Speed: 100% (average)
Class: Support

FEATS
Can match the Spy in a knife-fight
The only member of his team who isn't borderline insane, smug, or bloodthirsty
Puts up with parents who disapprove of his work

WEAPONS & GEAR

Sniper Rifle
-Bolt-action, scope-fitted rifle
-Rounds: 25
-When zoomed, damage increases
-Headshots practically killshots

Submachine Gun
-Rounds: 25
-Fully automatic
-Notably weak for a machine gun

Jarate
-A jar filled with yellow liquid
-Likely his own urine
-Used to weaken enemies, disrupt their vision, and reveal invisible foes
-Effects last 10 seconds

Huntsman
-Makes no noise when fired
-Mid-Range weapon
-Arrows: 12
-Arrows can be ignited by Pyro
-Arrows also make for handy melee weapons

Kukri
-Hunting knife and machete
-Typically found in Tibet
-Strong for its size (small compared to other machetes)



PROS & CONS
+Headshots are practically insta-kills
+Very good aim
+Professional and level-headed
-Low health
-Not many effective mid- to close-range weapons
-Can be ambushed when holed up



(The Sniper: Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill EVERYONE you meet.)

THE SPY
Real Name: Unknown
Height: 6'
Weight: 134lbs
Health: 125 (below average)
Speed: 100% (average)
Class: Support



WEAPONS & GEAR

Revolver
-Rounds 6
-Moderate damage
-Fairly accurate in mid- to close-range

Knife
-Butterfly knife design
-Instant-kill if he backstabs
-Defeated the Sniper in a knife fight

Sapper
-Disables (and eventually destroys) Engineer’s constructs

Cloaking Device
-Concealed in Spy’s wristwatch
-Turns him partially-invisible for a brief period of time
-Will stop if Spy attacks an enemy
-Must be recharged if it runs out of power

Disguise Kit
-Disguises Spy as one enemy
-Can be found out by close inspection or if enemy Medic tries healing
-Loses disguise if Spy attacks an enemy
-Contains a stash of cigarettes

PROS & CONS
+Master of espionage and stealth
+Can get around many enemy classes
+Hard to detect when disguised or cloaked
-Outmuscled and outgunned by fellow teammates
-If cover is blown, he’s in trouble
-Low stamina and few weapons

Curse you, !!!

The rules are as follows:
1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person has to share 10 facts about themselves.
3. Answer the 10 questions asked by the person who tagged you and make up 10 questions for the 10 you tag. 
4. Choose 10 people and put their icon in your journal. 
5. You have to legitimately tag 10 people.
6. No tag-backs.
7. You can't say that you don't do tags. 
8. You MUST make a journal entry!

1. What's your favorite official Death Battle?
-Megaman VS. Astro boy. Gotta love that animation by Aquila.

2. What's your favorite Death Battle on DA?
-ZACK VS ARCHER. NO COMPETITION.

3. Favorite drink?
-Orange Fanta.

4. Favorite food?
-Chicken tenders. 

5. Favorite Death Battle writer?
-Dimension-dino, Perpetual, and FatestayFelicia

6. Day or Night?
-Night, because i'm edgy.

7. Favorite member of Team RWBY?
-Weiss all the way.

8. Favorite video game?
-Shadow of the Colossus, probably.

9. Wii U or 3DS?
WiiDS.

10. Who do you main in Smash Bros?
-ZSS and Marth.


TAGGING:








MY QUESTIONS:
1. Best of the "Big Five" (Naruto, Bleach, One piece, DBZ, Fairy Tail)?
2. Science or Magic?
3. Swords or guns?
4. Favorite Undertale Character?
5. Team Cap or Team Iron Man?
6. What is your favorite Death Battle you've written?
7. Which of your death battles do you think should be an official one?
8. What color is the dress?
9. Where's the blacksmith?
10. Did I take this seriously?

Okay. I've calmed down a bit, and I've decided you guys at least need an explanation for how I've been acting. I've been... going through something recently, and so far, no one I know offline has been much help to me. I thought I could vent it here and calm down, but the situation got out of hand. I just got angrier. I'm sorry.

...But I'm getting sidetracked. I've been dealing with depression, stress, anxiety, being constantly yelled at by parents, having my home life managed by my fucking math teacher... it's been an absolute hellhole. It hurts when your own mother tells you you're going to grow up a homeless failure. *sigh* but such is life, I suppose.

Is it wrong to hate being micromanaged by someone who shouldn't have any input in my personal life? Is it wrong for me to hate the shit people say to me? And I can't even say anything, because my entire family gangs up on me when I try to stand up to them! It's not fair!!

...I bottled my pain up, and I took it out on you guys. That was wrong of me. I just...  I just wanted to thank you guys for the support the past few days. especially helped me snap out of it.

I promise not to quit. I just... I need some time.

"Your theme is good, as are your sentences. Your characters are so ruddy with life they practically need birth certificates. The plot you've mapped out for them is grand, simple and gripping. You've done your research, gathering the facts-historical, social, climatic, culinary-that will give your story its feel of authenticity. The dialogue zips along, crackling with tension. The descriptions burst with colour, contrast and telling detail. Really, your story can only be great. But it all adds up to nothing. In spite of the obvious, shining promise of it, there comes a moment when you realize that the whisper that has been pestering you all along from the back of your mind is speaking the flat, awful truth: it won't work. An element is missing, that spark that brings to life a real story, regardless of whether the history or the food is right. Your story is emotionally dead, that's the crux of it."
-Yann Martel

Yeah, I kind of mentioned this a while back, but this is gonna be a little different. I decided that I'm going to drop the season-based Death Battles. Now, this doesn't mean I won't have seasons, per se. It just means that instead of planning them, I'm just gonna write what I want, when I want. Thus, I'm removing the season progress chart. so, you know... Meh.